I remember a couple of years ago stumbling upon the name Scanman and I fit perfectly for its sequel.

What amazes me most about being a stutter is my ability to foresee the future regarding my speech. According to innumerable sites and books, the problem in stuttering relies in the muscle tension that is produced when speaking. here is one quote from Wikibooks.org regarding this issue:

Core Stuttering behaviors:

  • Disordered breathing, including antagonism between abdominal (belly) and thoracic (upper chest) respiratory muscles; complete cessation of breathing, and interrupting exhalation with inhalation.
  • Disordered vocal folds, including high levels of muscle activity or muscle tension; poor laryngeal too late or holding tension too long; and poor coordination of laryngeal muscles, e.g., incompatible contractions of opposing muscles.
  • Disordered articulation, including dysfunctions of the lips, jaw, and tongue in stuttering.

I just describe it as a pressure in my chest that won´t let me say what I want to say at the right time. It is just frustrating because you cannot go on. Now, this of course not happens when you have the correct "air flow" going in and out. For example when we sing we never stutter. But what about when we speck to ourselves? We don´t either because there is no muscle tension going on. Hmmm... for these reasons many call it a social disorder because of external factors involved. It may seem simple then to try to point put the solution. CALM DOWN AND TALK SLOWLY! How many times have I tried and it does helpo but also you sound like a retard at times. However in social spotlights it does not work. It is like there are bricks on top of you.

This is where I noticed "my" powers. I started scanning what I was going to say and choose the stutterless words. If the stuttering words were completely necessary I would choose for a synonym. If not I would simply shut up, change the subject of the conversation, say I don't know or just simply... ummm.. SssSSS--TtttttTT-eeeeRR. Wow I said. And I was good at it. I then knew it! I WAS SCANMAN!!!

This happens so fast. It is just at most 3 seconds (with practice). Our brains don´t even want to say what we think or feel but what we can say at that right moment. Say you wanted a cookie but you scanned the sentence before and detected cookie sending a rush of fear that there is a 75.8% chance of stuttering on it. Then you see the table. Ok, what else can I ask for. Time is running up damn it! Shit, there is also a slice of chocolate cake but the "k" sound is in cake and today I feel really stuttery with the "k" sound. Then you see it. Oh yeah. Scanman has done it again. "May I have just plain water?" "Oh", they reply. "Don't you want something to eat?" " No, sir (I scanned thanks and replaced it with sir in 0.876 seconds and gee it sounded too formal but what the hell) "I am on a diet". A diet, I thought to myself. I haven't been on a diet for like... oh ... NEVER. But Scanman pulled it out one more time. He is not always versatile with word selections but he gets the work done.

This is interesting though. I mean think about it. We scan to catch stuttery words but there is no rigid pattern. I mean of course, sounds n, p, k, s, b, and a are among my top feared ones but there are days when the n sound cleared by the scanning process. What I am getting to is that if I am tensed I should stutter in the same sounds. Also, when I am relaxed I should stutter less. The truth is sometimes I am really relaxed and stutter like crazy.

Fortunately, I am Scanman. Many people wish to see him defeated though. "Just stutter". Maybe they are right but when you are a superhero with these super powers that you can use to not be the ridicule of a social gathering, one just can't contain such power. Many times I have thrown off the costume but I am Scanman and I need myself. So you might not know who I am, or what I am up to because my labor is in silence but where stuttering and stammering hides, where muscle tensions happen, or where social gatherings occur, Scanman is there to save the day.