Why me?
Do we all have a purpose in life? Do we have a written destiny? Well, I am not even going to try to discuss this because I might never end. However I do ask myself many times why I have to be a stutterer and be in the 1 or 2% group. I believe in God just like 95% of people (God, Allah, the omega or any Deity) So if God does exist then He had made me with this "gift". Ok, now my other side of the brain says to me no way. This is something that does not come from God but from a kind of physical or psychological problem that I have acquired in this world. Regardless of what the truth is I just feel in someway kinda cursed. I know not one stutterer near me and few people can understand me. What I see is a crowd of judging people ready to tag you with a hurting label. I was going around in the stuttering forum and came across this post. Here is a part of that post: "I don't want to be stressed. I want to be like everybody else. I hate that speech impediments have such a weird place in society. Nobody takes them seriously, nobody understands their true impact. I hate that only 3% of people have impediments, and a huge % of that 3% grows out of it. Why didn't I grow out of it? I hate that I meet so many people and encounter so many people every day, and every single one of them talks normal and I can't. It's so beyond frustrating. Go to a mall, go to the beach. All the hundreds and hundreds of people around you, all talking totally normal, it's so frustrating. I want to know what it's like to be able to express myself, and to have the sole consideration, when speaking, on what you're trying to say, not on your stutter. When we stutterers speak, it's a huge ordeal. Our first priority is fluency, everything else is second. Non-stutterers cannot even fathom what that is like. Talking is like walking for them, no thought required. I want to know what that's like.I'm not bitter, I'm just a little lost. I got straight A's in school, I have an outgoing personality, I'm charismatic, and this impediment will cause me to choose the career path of a total introvert. It is so hard, and I'm just so frustrated"
Originally Posted by DZJ
When I read this I felt understood and in a way supported. He put it in such a way that hits the right keys on the frustration that we feel. The big challenge is to deal with this feeling. What is the next step? Does this become a pain cycle where we become bitter with ourselves?
I feel inspired when I watch TV and see the stories of people who become successful and they are handicapped. You see great stories of people with one leg, one arm, no arms, people who are def, blind people and much more being the best in what they are. So then people say to us, "See those people made it through, your problem is not that big as theirs so follow their example". However there is one piece in the puzzle that most do not see. People never laugh at these handicapped people. I mean you would have to be a complete and utter bastard to do it right? In fact, people want to help them and give praises to them. On the other hand, people laugh at stutterers. They make fun of us, judge us and think that we are not intelligent or that we are too nervous to talk. Instead of praising us some are annoyed by us. So having this "gift" is really special because we are so misunderstood and stereotyped in a negative and very hurtful way that some handicaps do not go through.
Finding a solution is an ongoing issue. But maybe I am with this gift for a reason which I do not know about. I try to see the good side of it. There are things we stutterers have that others do not. We see life in a deeper way and most of us are real smart. We are fighters and have adapted in this world so well at times. I mean, we substitute words in seconds and avoid difficult words and people sometimes do not even know. I do not argue too much with my wife because I sound funny. It is like " I dont know why you ha haaa had t tt to...umm I work all day and you ccc cco cc OK BYE! See, normal people would have said hurting words and sometimes it is best to not say them.
Unfortunately, this seems to be overwhelmed by the negatives but I exhort you stutterers to remain positive about the future. Try to find help. I have never been to a therapists because of time but will be seeing one. What I have done is opened up to my family and that has helped. It is a short life so lets not fall into depression. Why me? Why us? I do not know but it is who we are and I life goes on. Do we live it hurting myself or do we take the best from life and learn to confront my challenges and succeed?
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3 comments:
I never asked "Why me?" and hopefully would never!
Yes stammering isn't easy yet it isn't the worse that can happen to a human
I'm still able to live, work, think, walk, see, hear; I'm blessed with many things :)
hi, i read your comment. i am also a stammerer. i hope my statement doesnt hurt your sentiments, but i always tend to think abt people who are more in ferior to us, who are blind, and deaf they are suffering more than us. stuttering is nothing, we can atleast speak. we can strive to be content and give thanks to Allah for however He has made us. God bless us all.
You made me cry. Why us?
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