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Carlos
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Has stuttering changed your personality?
The way one communicates dictates, many times, how others see you. Most of us can evaluate
another person by how he/she talks, moves, acts etc. So then, what if you are an extrovert, outgoing or talkative person but a stutterer? Does being a stutterer change who you really are? Does that change how others see you?
another person by how he/she talks, moves, acts etc. So then, what if you are an extrovert, outgoing or talkative person but a stutterer? Does being a stutterer change who you really are? Does that change how others see you?Having started stuttering at age 19 or 20 really gives me a better insight on how it can change the way one is. I Well, has it really changed me? Yes but no. What I mean is that I am the same person but repressed and convicted to blocking my real self to the world. So, it has changed my personality to the others. People see a timid person, the perfect listener, someone who agrees with mostly everything, a shy sometimes social evader wonderer therefore a person who, in my case, is not me. I could accept this if it were true but deep inside I have not changed. In conversations and discussions I want to intervene and lay out my points stating the reasons for my discrepancy of a given issue. I would like to talk, make jokes, share my pain, give advice without having to block, substitute or say something which is not what I want.
Sometimes I am having a conversation and I imagine another one happening parallel to it. I imagine one where I actually say what I want to say. My typical conversations are one way where I come in with a "yeah" , "sure", "I know" etc. It is so frustrating and so sad because it hides who I am and portrays a dull, cheap version of myself. At times I just sigh and nod but deep inside it is like I accept the defeat. I wear out and give in to stuttering. Is it taking the best out of me? Is it taking control? Am I being too proud? Why not just stutter and let it out?
I think stuttering actually would make me feel worse than saying what I want to say, at the right time and therefore I retrieve from the confrontation. Ignorance hurts because others see you as a person with some type of problem. I really do not like to point out I am a stutterer to people that would not get it. I don't care telling some friends but only to smart ones who care about others. So why expose myself? I might be wrong. Maybe I should be doing the opposite like I have read elsewhere but for now I feel ok with it.
What do you guys think? Has it changed who you really are? Is stuttering keeping you from something?
Thanks for your comments and your participation.
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4 comments:
My stuttering has definitely changed/affected who I am. That is, versus who I think I am.
Others see a person that doesn't say much, listens well, maybe a bit removed and sometimes anti-social - but that's not who I think I would be without the stuttering.
I have plenty to say, and more than a few opinions I'd like to share at ties. But it is the fear of looking like a fool to the many people who still don't know what stuttering looks like that keeps me quiet.
Good topic. Thanks for posting.
Chad
www.thestutterblog.com
Ahh, this is a good post. I think in school it changed my personality. I can't count the amount of times I've sat through debates knowing exactly what to say to put every one else to shame and not saying anything. It is frustrating.
I'm not in school now, but my stuttering comes and goes depending on the situation. I do really well in person and feel comfortable enough to just be myself along with the occasional stammer.
However, if you need me to make a phone call. NO WAY! The phone is my enemy, especially when it's business related. Personal calls, depending on who and why i'm calling go a lot smoother.
It's weird because I'm my stuttering has a lot to do with how nervous and stressed I am about something. I can go days without stuttering, but when something is stressing me or making me anxious, then it can be hell to try and have a simple conversation with my husband.
From Chad " ...but that's not who I think I would be without the stuttering"
"...it is the fear of looking like a fool to the many people who still don't know what stuttering looks like that keeps me quiet".
I am with you. I have read around that some stutters feel that they are who they are and wouldn't change their stuttering. I would like to hear from these people because as I see it stuttering surpresses our real identity.
Jillian,
Most stutters real have a bad time on the phone. I do too at times but it is not that bad. I can make faces or pretend there is someone asking me something and cut my stammer. My stutterness, if you will, also goes up and down. I think I should try some anxiety pills or something but haven't had time to go to a doc.
stutter stories,
I found your blog while researching whether a lot of people who stutter stutter more in a foreign language than in their native language [I am learning spanish and have found that I stutter more.]
I, however, don't think that stuttering has changed my personality. Maybe because, unlike you, I have been stuttering my entire life, I feel like stuttering is just part of my personality and has not changed it. Also, it might be because my suttering mainly only comes up now [it has improved greatly with therapy] over the phone and when I have to read from a book [no ability to change words then!] I don't find it really impacts my ability to have conversations with people and say what I want to say. I don't think anyone would ever describe me as shy either.
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