The way one communicates dictates, many times, how others see you. Most of us can evaluate another person by how he/she talks, moves, acts etc. So then, what if you are an extrovert, outgoing or talkative person but a stutterer? Does being a stutterer change who you really are? Does that change how others see you?

Having started stuttering at age 19 or 20 really gives me a better insight on how it can change the way one is. I Well, has it really changed me? Yes but no. What I mean is that I am the same person but repressed and convicted to blocking my real self to the world. So, it has changed my personality to the others. People see a timid person, the perfect listener, someone who agrees with mostly everything, a shy sometimes social evader wonderer therefore a person who, in my case, is not me. I could accept this if it were true but deep inside I have not changed. In conversations and discussions I want to intervene and lay out my points stating the reasons for my discrepancy of a given issue. I would like to talk, make jokes, share my pain, give advice without having to block, substitute or say something which is not what I want.


Sometimes I am having a conversation and I imagine another one happening parallel to it. I imagine one where I actually say what I want to say. My typical conversations are one way where I come in with a "yeah" , "sure", "I know" etc. It is so frustrating and so sad because it hides who I am and portrays a dull, cheap version of myself. At times I just sigh and nod but deep inside it is like I accept the defeat. I wear out and give in to stuttering. Is it taking the best out of me? Is it taking control? Am I being too proud? Why not just stutter and let it out?

I think stuttering actually would make me feel worse than saying what I want to say, at the right time and therefore I retrieve from the confrontation. Ignorance hurts because others see you as a person with some type of problem. I really do not like to point out I am a stutterer to people that would not get it. I don't care telling some friends but only to smart ones who care about others. So why expose myself? I might be wrong. Maybe I should be doing the opposite like I have read elsewhere but for now I feel ok with it.

What do you guys think? Has it changed who you really are? Is stuttering keeping you from something?

Thanks for your comments and your participation.
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